there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
