i think i have herpe
just one?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
