Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I want a musical about memes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
