Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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