Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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