it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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