the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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