I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
