i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
