does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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