1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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