I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
