I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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