Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize