Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
