I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
