he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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