her vagine was all disorganized.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
