flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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