Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize