Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
