your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
