We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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