You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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