She's JV to your varsity
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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