Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
