I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
