Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
