So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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