what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
