I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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