Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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