For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
