Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
