I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
