you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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