Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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