they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
