Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Boobs are out for the taking
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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