I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
