Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
