so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
