sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
