This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
