if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
