I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
