wakey wakey hands off snakey
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
