I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
