what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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