I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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