his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
