Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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