Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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