Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
