wanna go halves on a baby?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
