We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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