Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
