My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
