apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize