that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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