What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
