Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
