Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize