i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
